Wonka Nerds Rope, 24-Count: $18.99. Seriously. If you need 24 Nerd ropes, you need to move past the third grade.
The JanSport Revelation Waist Pack with Water Bottle: $99.99-$24.99 (price depends on color. And if you really care about color, you're a tool to the nth degree on this one). This thing is clearly no Beer Belly. Which is perfect for sneaking booze past the nazis manning the gates at Churchill Downs during Derby. Not that I've ever done that.
6 3/4 Carat Blue Topaz and Rhodolite Sterling Silver Ring: $38. Also known as the fugliest piece of jewelry on the planet. Maybe it's nicer on, but I'm thinking no. Guys, I know Valentine's Day is coming up, but if you give this to your girl, it is a downward spiral to no sex for, like, three weeks. So just don't. (Besides, WTF is Rhodolite?)
Master Lock 22-Inch 9-Link Street Cuffs Lock: $42.99. I think this is a bike lock. But it clearly should have been in Amazon's Personal Care section. See also: S&M; dominatrix; kink.
3 comments:
Uh-hummm......I will take one box of Nerds Ropes (my daughters LOVE them)!!!
And the hand cuffs for me. Nuff said.
Your daughters ... riiiiight. Like you don't get all hopped up on sugar and use the cuffs. You're not foolin' anybody!!
Ed loves him some Nerds, but there is NO WAY I'd buy that huge thing!
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