Friday, July 24, 2009

The Trouble with Vamps ...

I'm in the middle of "Eclipse," and ... I JUST DON'T GET IT. I mean, the storyline is aiight, but it ain't no Harry Potter. Hell, I read The Vampire Diaries in the early 1990s and re-read them last year. And I STILL can't finish the Twilight series. There is obviously a problem. I have devoured Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire series LONG before HBO jacked it up into an addictive-if-not-quite-accurate rendering of the book.

Oh, and of course The CW has jumped on the fangbanger rage and is turning The Vampire Diaries into a watered-down, lame-ass SHOW*. What. The... Seriously.

* I'll still watch it. Don't judge.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Thursday, July 9, 2009

You Can't Do That in MY Neighborhood!

We had a knock on the door from a neighbor this afternoon -- mind you, I've been in bed for 48 hours straight -- but I was up and drinking some soup. Apparently, the neighbors three doors on the other side of our creek have been dumping TRASH in the creek. Bill walked down there, confronted them, and they denied it. (Acutally, it was screaming "I ain't dun nuthin'! I ain't done that!")

Another neighbor went into the creek and pulled out their damn WASTE MANAGEMENT bill with their ADDRESS ON IT. HELLO, incriminating evidence! WTH? I guess trash fairies magically came and dumped it down there?

Our next-door-neighbors called tonight and said they saw one of the residents wheel down their trash can... and when she was driving back home saw the same lady wheeling her trashcan back up. They're not-so-great additions to the neighborhood, obviously (they look like they should be on an episode of COPS).

We live in a children-of-the-corn neighborhood. You can't do that here, bud. Next call, POLICE!!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Sick as a dog.

So, a rampant flu bug has blown through my family, hitting my dad, BooBerry, Bill, my brother, my sister-in-law and ... me. My brother and I are the last to recover. It was pretty nasty, and I have decided that Gatorade is the nastiest stuff on the planet. I've been upright three times today and in the bathroom more often than not. I am also QUITTING MY DOCTOR all Brokeback Mountain style. I'm on my deathbed for two days and and I finally call today only to learn she's out today and I should go to an immediate health care center.


I can't leave the bedroom, let alone get in a car and drive 10 miles.

Stupid bitches.

Monday, July 6, 2009

New year, new look.

Pink is soooooo 2007. Many thanks to Josh of HOT HOT JAPAN HOT for tricking Mandyland out '09 style.

Sunday, July 5, 2009


Sorry, Wentworth. There's a new hottie in town. His name is Santiago Cabrera. Hot damn. I drink his bathwater. Tepid.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Millions of cougars' hearts are breaking.

Kevin Jonas apparently proposed to his rich lucky bitch girlfriend, Danielle Deleasa. I think a couple of the Hansons are still single.

Meat WIN!