Sunday, March 30, 2008

NOT a lazy Sunday...

We're in a flurry of cleaning this morning in anticipation of our trip to Las Vegas beginning tomorrow. I have to go for the magazine, and Bill has a conference -- they just happen to be at the same convention center at the same time. (Convenient! Although it really cuts into my gambling and/or male stripper time to have Bill there, darn the luck!)

Problem is, we just got home last week from Orlando. That means my dining room is full of suitcases and laundry dumped last Sunday (um, why carry UP dirty laundry only down carry it back down to wash?). My mother-in-law is coming to stay with Boo so she can still go to school next week, but that means we were up at 7:45 a.m. cleaning (and preparing to check in on Southwest because, of course, there's no assigned seats and Bill completely freaks out if he's not in the A boarding group.) By 8:15 a.m., Boo had a feather duster in her hand and was going to town on the all the flat surfaces on the bottom floor (hurray for cheap child labor! If I could, I would totally tape mops to the cats and dog and let them work on the hardwood floors).

The suitcases are still partially packed from Orlando (OUT comes the sunscreen and shorts, IN goes the high heels and jeans) and I feel like there's absolutely no way I'm ready for this trip. I'm tired, and we haven't even left yet...

UPDATE: How is it that after five hours of cleaning, you haven't even made a dent in the mess? Seriously -- how does that happen? On the good side, I completely cleaned out the cabinet under my side of the sink in the bathroom. OMG. I threw away a garbage bag's worth of barely used make-up and toiletries. And did you know that Bath & Body Works Cotton Blossom lotion turns green after seven years? Yep. Sure does. When I think of all the make-up I threw away this morning, I feel only slightly bad about the poor helpless women out there who are in BAD need of makeovers. Sad, really.

Our bed looks like Hiroshima as we just keep tossing things on it to pack. The bad thing about going to Vegas for work is you have to have two stupid sets of clothes. I'm trying to figure out how to make khaki pants look hot and finding that it just won't work. Bill & I are taking a break while Boo takes a nap.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

So, here's a quandry.

What's setting off my asthma/allergy attack tonight?

A) Bill's oven cleaning
-- and, seriously, how cute is Bill is this picture I took tonight?

or B) the new Bath & Body Works Wallflowers scent I bought and plugged in tonight?

Regardless, I'm completely miserable.

Date night!

Boo went to a parent's night out thingy at school and came home with blood red nails and fake tattoos. Seems the fifth graders got ahold of her and she's prancing around this morning flashing off her nails. I've already warned her it has to come off since the whoreish look just doesn't work on the under five crowd...

Meanwhile, Bill and I were going to go see 21 at the theater but decided to go for sushi at Osaka instead. We ordered a combo platter of rolls, sashimi and nigiri known as a "boat" and OMG it actually came in a huge wooden sailboat and was completely embarassing (although less so after two large carafes of hot sake), because, really, when your dinner is delivered via boat, it's probably going to set off only slight feelings of guilt as you prepare to plunder like the Dread Pirate Roberts. We tried to take a picture with Bill's iPhone wannabe he's testing for work:

(Came out yellowish because we were using the wrong light source, but you get the picture.)

It's right down the block from Maido, where Bill and I ate a fabulous sushi meal last winter. I think the atmosphere at Osaka is far superior. Oh, and apparently I like white tuna best. It has a yummy buttery flavor -- for raw fish, that is.

Friday, March 28, 2008


... I cut my hair. 6 inches gone. I feel like I just lost 30 lbs.

Here's a very bad picture of me at 8:05 a.m. before I had the chance to completely suck down my morning latte (not pretty). I took in a picture of Jenny McCarthy and I did not come out looking like Jenny McCarthy (wtf) but at least I have her hair (sort 0f).

And thanks to Photobucket for the ability to warp the photo to hide the circles under my eyes and the lack of make-up.

Also, many thanks to JoshK for the swingin' new banner. I guess it's a good thing he was really bored at work today because it was a win-win for both of us.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

I wish...

I had something clever to post. Sadly, this week has been filled with laundry from last week in order to pack for next week when Bill and I have separate conventions both in Las Vegas. Fun.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Monday, March 24, 2008

Mandyland Milestone

funny pictures

Mandyland reached a milestone sometime last week, passing 20,000 page views.

First, I'd like to thank Lindsay Lohan for starring in Mean Girls, of which my post last November is the #1 entry page for Mandyland.

Second, I'd like to thank the Mandyland readers who endure my rants and raves with aplomb. I think there are about three of you, and if you're really logging on 20,000 times, that borders on stalking, but I'm down with that. Stalking is under-rated, IMHO.

Finally, I'd like to thank the international community for clicking through. You don't stick around long, but your page views count. Ha. And without you, I would have no knowledge of
Raismes, Nord-Pas-de-Calais France or Odder, Arhus Denmark or Prairie Du Chien, Wisconsin. Anyone who can broaden my horizons beyond the mall and Walt Disney World deserves a pat on the back. Nice job.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Boo's second fave ride ...

... is Spaceship Earth @ Epcot.


Here's a picture from the newly redesigned Spaceship Earth! And how awesome were Boo and I?

Back. Tired. Had fun.

Those are just about the only three words I'm able to drum up, as I've achieved a level of exhaustion never before experienced in this household. Perhaps it was the 45-minute security lines I endured at 8:30 a.m. this morning in Orlando (before my morning latte. Not. Pretty.). Perhaps it was the tidal waves of BO and suntan lotion fumes I surfed at the Magic Kingdom yesterday (holy hell. We rode one ride and headed back to the hotel. Who knew so many people found Jesus at Walt Disney World during Easter week?). Or perhaps it was the fact I woke up between 5:30 and 6 a.m. for an entire week on vacation to make sure we were at the parks at opening. Who knows?

I have about 12 hours of DVRed primetime to watch (yes, I know Amanda bit the big one on American Idol. Thank you, Orlando's Fox Channel for that little nugget yesterday morning).

Here are some pictures before I post a proper trip report -- half the pictures are downloaded on Bill's Apple:

Me at Jiko at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Boo spent some time at Simba's Cubhouse while Bill & I had a grown up dinner, and it was the best steak we've had on Disney property to date.

Boo sees her hairstyle and make-up for
the first time at tbe Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.

You gotta be kidding me. 40 minutes for this crappy ride?
I've never waited more than 5 minutes before. Ugh.

She looks sweet, but you should have experienced the 15 minutes
of truly epic whining before the big crash of Tuesday evening. Good times.

This? Is why we got our sorry carcasses out of bed at 5:45 a.m.
to be at the park at 6:45 a.m. We had Fantasyland virtually to ourselves.

My favorite picture of the entire trip. Cinderella and my prince charming at Biergarten in the Germany pavilion at Epcot. They danced and danced and danced.

Our view. Every. Freakin'. Day. We got upgraded from a standard view (like this one:

and by "standard" I mean "parking lot") to a savannah view and I about peed my pants (HA! to the f*ckers paying $400 a night while we paid a slammin' rate of $205!) .
BooBerry thought they were -- get this -- robots.

My favorite place. On the balcony with a book
and a glass of wine watching the animals.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Good stuff.

Why can't I find this freakin' song on iTunes. It's HEDLEY, btw. Yeah, apparently I like Canadian rock because I heard this on the ICEBERG channel on my new Sirius radio...

A haiku.

Gold earring is lost
Dropped in parking lot outside
Car runs over it.

Yeah. Happy birthday to me. I lost my white gold earring Bill got me in our parking lot at work and one of the 10 cars who park there RAN OVER IT in the 20 minutes after I left. LAME.


But so worth it. I took this blatantly from 91 and it is beyond awesomeness. Josh, you owe me a new inhaler.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Going completely crazy...

here in a little place I like to call PACKING HELL. We leave Saturday for DISNEY'S ANIMAL KINGDOM LODGE and I'm filled with both dread and excitement.

We've been to Walt Disney World probably 10 times, but we've never stayed here -- and we've never been during the busiest freakin' week of the year. Not only is it Spring Break in many parts of the country, but it's also Easter Week, both of which equates to three hour lines and an entirely different type of trip than we're used to. (Walking on to Pirates of the Caribbean really spoils a girl.)

But, the housesitter is in place to ensure Callie doesn't burn the house down and/or get unaccompanied kittehs high on catnip and that Porkfat actually moves off the house at least once a day. The mail is taken care of, the nasty food disposed of out of the fridge, and the dog is headed for my parents' this weekend (sorry, Po-Po) ... now if I can just get the packing straight...

BooBerry has an entire suitcase filled with her princess dresses, and she keeps "packing" things in our big suitcases which I have to remove. Bill's got his suits packed for his show, and I still need to find room for all my toiletries and my pillow (I'm worse than a 6th grader going to band camp).

But, at least I managed to squeeze in time for a pedicure. I do have priorities.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Dolphins are awesome.

Reason #8 why I want a dolphin.


So yesterday was a weird day. I saw a wreck going down 7th St. (guy saw a parking space and turned from the middle lane hitting a woman coming up on his left side).

Also found out that two people on my cul-de-sac had an affair and got caught. Then three couples (including the woman who had the affair) went to Cancun a couple of weeks ago and two of the men got in a drunken brawl. Now the woman who had the affair and her husband have their house up for sale and are moving.

It's sad, really*.

(* But slightly delicious. I didn't make it out of the parking lot at Boo's school before I was on the phone with my BFF, who also lives on the cul-de-sac. I'm horrible. I know.)

Sunday, March 9, 2008


Love love love the band; this would have worked if the antagonist didn't look like one of Barker's Beauties circa 1994. She's gotta be, like, 30.

Spring Forward?

Show me effing spring, assholes. We've got 12+ inches outside. In Kentucky. Meanwhile, give me my hour back.

Saturday, March 8, 2008


I joined it.

Expect greatness. If I can figure out the Web site.


Because there's nothing else going on! Except laundry! And packing for Disney World! And eating everything that's not nailed down! Because there's nothing else going on! Because we're buried under 12 inches of snow!!

Digging out.

Digging in (it's up to her thighs).

Just chillin'.

Making progress on the driveway.

Everybody was digging out. I missed a great shot with 6 men shoveling.

Snow angel on the street.

22-inch snow pile. Might melt by May.
We actually got 12 inches on the deck.

Friday, March 7, 2008

I'm in Love.

Bill brought home a MacBook Air and this sucker is hot hot hot. I want. (Of course, it's the same price as a trip to Walt Disney World...)

Holy snowflakes, Batman!

I love this picture.

Snow on the trees.

Messing up the yard. I hate it when kids do this.

Catching snowflakes.

Doodlebug likes snow? Who knew?

Poor Mickey.

We made snowcream and attempted to make a snowman, which I completely suck at. Maybe Bill can salvage it when he gets home. According to local weather channels, we're getting between 4 and 348 inches. Nobody really seems to know.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

6-12 inches of snow.

WTF? Seriously. WTF? It's friggin' March. The tulips at my dentist's office have started to sprout. UK is trying to get an NCAA bid. The Kentucky Derby Festival kicks off in, like, a month. And spring break is right around the corner.

And we're supposed to get 6-12 inches of SNOW in Kentucky? <insert stupid hand sign that Danny Noriega* did to Simon Cowell on American Idol on Tuesday night.>

* Yeah, he totally looks like Jessica Alba. I loved "Dark Angel." Fucking FOX. Fucking show cancellers.

These suckers are good. I just ate, like, half the tube.

Heh. I said, "tube."

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Hey, CHARMED ...


I loved her tonight. Oh, and if this were 1783, I would have just slapped you in the face with a white glove and turned on my heel like a real man. Instead, my inner Simon Cowell fights with LOLcats.


funny pictures

Look what I won at the ...

elementary school hoe-down:

I bought $10 in raffle tickets and we won this sweet basket o' Barbies. Boo doesn't need all of these, so I'll probably give a couple to Toys for Tots this December because I'm nice like that.

It's International Day at Mandyland Again!

My sitemeter tells me we've had visitors from all over the world today, and Eastern Europe is in the house. That still doesn't explain why you guys are searching for The Kelly Family... That post is officially ranked #1 for Mandyland entry pages. WTF?

That one little dot on the right is Vietnam. He looks lonely.

*sigh* Mandyland Road Rage.

Photo representation of me this morning.

Could I have hit one more stop light this morning? Please. Because that? Would have been awesome.

I swear to God I hit every frickin' red light down Taylorsville Road, up to and including the light at the fire station as the firefighters backing the stupid truck in (and really, guys, do you have to block five lanes of traffic to get that truck back into the station? Really?).

Monday, March 3, 2008

Birthday o' Fun.

Well, St. Amanda's Day is officially coming to an end and I have decided that I like the people around me and will keep them for a while. Bill and Bella got me a pair of white gold hoop earrings, and my mom and Dad got me two of my favorite things in the whole world -- a new Coach hobo bag and a Starbucks gift card. My co-workers got me a bottle of Shiraz, a just-released book, a Mickey Mouse cookie jar and an eBay gift certificate (do they know me, or what?). We also stuffed our faces at Famous Dave's and I'm wanting to stick my finger down my throat right about now but I hear that is not cool.

Also, I had to go to the dentist today and get a cavity filled -- also not cool. It was one between two of my front teeth, and I was numb all the way up to my eye socket, but I had some a lovely 2008 nitrous oxide which was better than both cake and Cabernet.

Happy St. Amanda's Day to meeeeee...

The St. Amanda's Day festivities have not been so fun. Dinner at Limestone was mediocre at best (medium rare filet should be slightly pink, dudes) and I didn't get taco soup and red velvet cake last night at my parents' house because Boo is SICK. She has a gross sore throat.

We did, however, enjoy breakfast at Wild Eggs, a new local breakfast/brunch/lunch place here. The wait was long -- 45 minutes -- but the eggs Benedict and Everything muffin and OHMIGOD the fresh-squeezed OJ were worth it.

Today Boo is still sick and at home with Bill, I have a dentist appointment to get a cavity filled and Bill has to teach tonight, so birthday fun will be limited.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Three Days of St. Amanda.

Glitter Words

It's like Hanukkah, without the dreidels.

My birthday is on Monday, which is a stupid day in the first place, but the festivities get underway this evening when Bill takes me to Limestone for dinner. Tomorrow, there will be brunch at Wild Eggs with his mom, then Taco Soup tomorrow night at my mom's (it is my favorite meal in the whole world). The gang at work will take me to Famous Dave's for lunch on Monday. (Bill has to teach that night, so there will not be any activities Monday night.)

Plan accordingly, and feel free to light a candle and raise a glass in my honor over the next three nights.