First Impressions are a Bitch.

So basically, I'm just counting down the hours today until my guilty summer pleasure -- Big Brother 8.

This year's crop of hamster Houseguests are a motley crew of twenty-somethings with the requisite old guy (who's 44. Wow. Get the Alzheimer's meds and walking stick, yeah?).


"Old guy" Dick

There's one black girl (um, diversity? Hellooo?) and she's reminds me soooo much of a girl named Danielle I went to school with. They could be sisters. She's gorgeous:


Jameka

There's this guy, who's hotness but looks like trouble. He was obviously cast for his likness to past player Dr. Will Kirby:


Mike

There's this girl, who I hate on principle. Send this skinny Yvette-wannabe some Ho-Hos, some fried chicken and a pint of Ben & Jerry's, please:


Jen

Finally, we have this poor woman, who looks like she'll be eaten alive first week:


Kail

The twist this year is that there's one houseguest who has to do America's bidding -- be it hit on another houseguest, vote against someone they normally wouldn't, etc. There are also "frenemies" -- people who are coming into the house with the last person on Earth they want to see. (I'd have two of them. One grudge goes back to the fifth grade. I know I should let it go. But she had a horse and had her birthday party at Lakeside Hoity-Toity Swim Club. Well, laa dee daa. Too bad your Daddy is now in federal prison for taking bribes when he served as a judge here. )

I admit I bought the SuperPass that allows me 24/7 access to the house's four cameras. I love living vicariously through other people.

It starts at 8 p.m. tonight. Let me know what y'all think. I miss Janelle already.