Monday, April 14, 2008

Prom Time? Be glad it's not 1994.

Over at Suzanne Sez, Suzanne brings up an interesting topic: what was your prom like? I've been discussing it with some friends, and while we laugh now, it was totally serious at the time.

I can tell you mine completely sucked. I had run for senior class president and lost to the bratty incumbent and she, therefore, was head of the prom committee. So we ended up having ours at a crappy Holiday Inn. It rained (and by "rained" I mean POURED and completely ruined my Payless Shoe Source Dyables shoes -- shut up, options were limited), and apparently the Holiday Inn had a leak in their roof and it dripped down on the dance floor. And the staff remedied it by sticking a chair with a bucket on top of it to catch the drips on the dance floor. Classy.

Also, in 1994, it was all about sequins and slinky pageant-style dresses. I had neither a sequins or slinky nor a pageant-style body. Also, full figured girls got the shaft in 1994 and had a choice of either "Mother of the Bride" style dresses (SO HOT to an 18-year-old) or one of three plus-sized dresses at Bacon's, which I knew -- just knew -- somebody else would end up with (and I was right -- a cheerleader named Danielle bought the one I was close to buying, and she had a smokin' hot body. Somebody was lookin' out for me there...)

So, I'm sure you're wondering what I did. I went vintage. I wore my aunt's circa-1980s scrumptious velvet and taffeta concoction. It was burgundy and looked purple and black in certain light. I had to have it altered a bit (she was taller and thinner than I) but I STILL love that dress and would wear it again in a heartbeat. Still, if you're reading this and are in high school, you are so fucking lucky. Today's dresses are awesome.

Our theme song was some R&B crap called "One Last Cry" and I'd never even heard of it. Oh, and my prom date was a junior drama club friend who had the BIGGEST GLASSES ON THE PLANET. Seriously, if I could find the picture, I would post it -- they totally dwarfed his already-small head (easy there, don't jump to conclusions). Imagine the little turtle, Toby, in Disney's Robin Hood. Got that mental image in your head? Yep. My date looked the same.

As for an after party, I got talked into going on a cruise on the Star of Louisville. And they had a band, sure, for the CORPORATE PARTY also on the cruise. My group pretty much sat there stone cold sober (*sigh*) with Michael Scott and the entire Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch got schnockered and had fun.

Then my date drove me home, and ... well... that was it. Good times.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

"junior drama club friend" pretty much sums it up.

I think you should post a 1994 pic of you sporting that dress!

Suzanne said...

Yeah, my prom date was Carl, a fellow drama fag. 10 years later, I ran into him while visiting NY and yep, he was gay.

Ten of us rented a limo and after prom, went into NYC to go clubbing. Nothing happened.

Hmm, perhaps I should blog the whole story, lol!

Ryan The Intern said...

"Wonderful Tonight." Missed out on being elected Prom King by what I will forever hope was the slimmest of margins. Took a girl who bailed on me pretty soon after. Meh.

Anonymous said...

Took some Random McRandy, got blitzed on strawberry kiwi wine coolers and ke'OWNED the toilets at the Butler County bingo hall.

* = not really joshk

Anonymous said...

Or 1988. My proms theme was 'The Time of Our Lives', the song from Dirty Dancing. I wore a royal blue dress with puffy sleeves. My ex-husband wore a white tux. Yeah, I said it, white tux! It was 1988!! I have to say, it was not the time of my life.