If I...

...get all liquored up tonight and rip out all my teeth (including these rancid braces) with dirty pliers from Bill's tool box, will he still love me all haggled and toothless?

Because the insides of my cheek would feel soooooo much better.

Explain how random bracket can suddenly start to rub again my cheeks. Random. Haven't had an adjustment, haven't broken anything (a modern day miracle, to say the least) ... so why the friggin' irritation now?

It's the devil's work, I tell you ...

Now where are those pliers? ...