Random Shit to Talk About Today...

... in traditional outline form. Because it is a challenge and I have shit to do and am avoiding doing said shit. I think I remember how to do this right...

I. South Beach Diet Phase I, Part Due
A. Going back on my diet is a bitch.
B. My body has gotten so used to the Disney Dining Plan that it is literally craving
1. School bread from that little shop in Norway
a. It's like a coconut cream doughnut, only bigger.
b. It is heaven on Earth.
2. Fudge from the Main Street Confectionery in the Magic Kingdom
C. I have to lose the four pounds I gained in 8 days. Yum.
D. I am starving. My stomach is literally eating itself.

II. BooBerry is sick
A. She complained about her stomach hurting this morning.
B. I sent her to school anyway because I am a bad mommy and figured she was just hungry.
C. School called and said she was just laying around complaining of her stomach aching. I picked her up. She camped out on our bed and watched Spongebob with a smug smile.
D. I think SOMEONE didn't want to go to school today...

III. We might have a new addition to the family.
A. No, I am not pregnant.
B. Yes, I talked Bill into (maybe) getting a new kitten.
C. Because kittens are good substitutions to not being pregnant.
D. And Porkfat needs a friend.
1. She reeeeeallly needs the exercise.
2. And she needs something to occupy her time, since she's taken to attacking Bill's ankles as he walks up the stairs at night.
E. Will post if it comes to fruition. Not fun.

IV. My thoughts on Britney.
A. So sad that she had to give her kids to Kevin effing Federline. He should be in jail just for wearing a wife-beater-slash-fedora outfit every day. (Dude. Mix it up a little.)
B. Where the hell were her parents when she was sliding down this shame spiral?
1. Dina, you suck. Oh, wait. That's Lindsay's mom.
2. Lynne, you suck.
3. Wait. Maybe they're the same person ...
4. Oh, I know where Lynne is ... substituting Britney's look-alike, Jamie Lynn, in the role of "perfect daughter." That is suuuch a V.C. Andrews novel...
C. If your going to drink and drug out, do it at home where there are no freaking photographers. Because, OK! and US Weekly, if I see one more glassy-eyed photo of Ms. Spears sans panties, I am going to completely lose my shit.


AWWWW MAN! ALL THAT WORK AND IT WON'T POST MY PERFECT OUTLINE FORM!



Lame.