I am so broken.

I have a three-inch bruise on my right bicep that is turning a lovely shade of yellow tinged with greeen.

I have a two-inch bruise on my right knee and it hurts to walk.

I have a three-inch gash on my forearm.

I have a small bruise on my temple.

Right now, you might be asking yourself, "Does Bill beat her?" You might wonder, "Was she in a car accident?" Alas, no on both accounts.

So what did happen?

A side-view mirror, a corner of my desk, Callie and a kitchen cabinet, respectively. I? Am a complete klutz.