A Gushing Account of the Tucson Affair, or, Old people can totally kick it.

So the wedding was RIPE. It was so much fun ... not only was my great aunt a serious hottie in her cream-colored chiffon pantsuit, but her fiancee was so adorable in his pressed suit. They looked so happy, so sweet together. And I've never seen a more beautiful setting –– they had it at the Tanque Verde Guest Ranch in Tucson, with a reception afterward and then dinner and dancing. BEAUTIFUL. I totally want a do-over on my own wedding. My mother (who up until then had always said my wedding was the most beautiful wedding she'd ever been to) even said I'd been trumped.

But c'mon. We're in freakin' KENTUCKY. We can't compete with mountains and cacti. We're lucky to have Starbucks and a Sephora (which, by the way, about made me pee in my pants when I found out it was coming to our local mall. Seriously. There must be a rift in the social order or something.)

My daughter, by the way, is a machine when it comes to dancing. The little cyborg should have passed out until the table using somebody's jacket as a pillow well into the reception. SHE TOTALLY CLOSED THE PLACE DOWN. And she didn't want to dance with anybody -- just by herself. She didn't even want me on the dance floor with her -- just sitting at the closest table.

Did I mention she's three and a half?

The groom stopped by our table at the brunch the next day to compliment her, and to tell us that his legs were totally cramping from dancing with BooBerry.

On a side note, total props to the following:

• Southwest, who even though they completely lost our carseat (twice. Twice! They flew it from Phoenix to San Diego to Tucson since there's no direct flight from Phonix to Tucson. BUT, they called me back after telling me they'd found it and sent it to Cali just to tell me it hadn't made the connecting flight in San Diego. WTH? Was it having a drink in a bar somewhere and lost track of time? Using the loo?) had a loaner for us to use until ours made its Tucson debut.

• The Ramada Foothills Suites. FAB-U-LOUS. We had a suite with a microwave, a fridge and separate living room. Breakfast every morning and a social hour in the afternoon helloooo boxed wine!).

• The Dakota Cafe at Trail Dust Town (adorable). I had the Prickly Pear Barbeque Brisket Sandwich with Dakota fries at $8.49 and it was sweet, tender and I inhaled EVERY BITE (shut up). Mom had the White Chicken Enchilada Casserole ($8.29) and although I didn't try it she said it was wonderful. BooBerry had a kid's quesadilla of which she ate about two bites (food's not really her thing right now). My aunt met us there and she got the special Lavosh Pizza (vegetarian -- it was $7.99). Of course, we splurged and got this HUGE chocolate cake/pie/mousse thing to share and BooBerry DUG IN like a starving little Somalian. I swear I feed her, people.

• Creative Ventures in the trendy Fourth Ave. area (http://www.tucson-creative-ventures.com) where I picked up some lovely silver and turquoise jewelry and some pottery. Great prices and really friendly. (If you're in the area, Magpie's Pizza right across the street is a Best of Tucson winner. I featured them in an article last October and they're great).