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Everything I learned about blogging I learned...

... from Franko.*

* Seriously, if you just read
that whole page, drinks are
on me because you. earned. it.

Basements, booze and other shit I have to talk about.

We're in the midst of getting quotes to finish our basement. It's completely full of shit we don't need, including an entire shelving unit full of beans, rice and Dinty Moore ready-to-heat meals (WTF?) that Bill's been stockpiling, I guess for the next War of the Worlds attack.


(I think I'd rather take on the aliens than put that shit in my stomach.)

The first estimate came in at ... are you ready for it? ... $35K. WHAT. THE. FUCK? For 900 square feet? Will be handcrafted out of 24K gold and YESH's tears (I heard that shit can cure cancer and make cats swoon at his feet. He's the Chuck Norris of the HHJH world.)

We had another builder come yesterday, and he had some great ideas that hopefully won't cost an arm and a leg. That estimate is to come, and we have another builder coming by today.

***
On a different note, I haven't had so much as a sip of wine in three days, and I have to say that sobriety is highly overrated. I mean, I haven't ended up like this*


***
Finally, Katherine Heigl is f*cking nuts. What a dumbass.


* Yet. ZOMG, boob splinters!

Happy Birthday, Intern!

Today is my buddy Ryan the Intern's birthday. So, here ya go, Ryan. Hope your day was THIS fantastic.

Wow! I can't wait to go to Milwaukee.

Hey! I'm going to Milwaukee!! Wow!!

And when I think of Milwaukee, only two things come to mind ...


Jeffrey Dahmer


and


Lavern & Shirley.


Although, Ryan the Intern brought up another excellent Milwaukee gem:

Somehow, I'm thinking The Mummy is a not-so-hot deal.

Considering Brendan Frasier looks exactly the same in all his movies.

Slushies. Mmmmmmm

Jeez my dog is an ungrateful, lazy bum.

She's on my couch, with her head on MY couch pillow, and I'm talking to her, and she is completely ignoring me. Also known as: giving me the dog equivalent of the bird. Nice.

Aww shucks photo of the month.

This fawn and bobcat were rescued from the Santa Barbara fires and are now friends, according to Ellen Degeneres' Twitter page. This picture soothes my inner rage, which we all know is pretty intense. Actually, the fawn looks like it stopped having fun about three days ago.

In a death match ...

... between Fat Kid and The Friend, I'm putting my money on Fat Kid. Boy's got sweet moves.

Weekend Trip to Indianapolis.

The look on the girl's face next to BooBerry ... classic "WTF is wrong with you?"

SO NSFW.

... but watch it until the end.

Seriously funny. Thanks to my blogger friend who passed it along. I'm not skeered to put it on Mandyland.

Swine Pooh.

44 seconds of awesomeness.

Happy Star Wars Day!

It's Yoda. On a pizza. OMG I freaking love the internet.

There are so many things wrong with this...

... beginning with the sign and ending in his shorts.

EMO.

Fotobomb Friday!

Ew.

In general, to everyone not working today: