Worssssssst headline ever. You call this "journalism?" Neither do I.

A) because that is what your breath smells like after consuming. B) because that is where it is going to end up after consuming. C) both of ...

... because I love having a three-year-old tell me not to drink or copulate.

This weekend is going to completely suck balls. For some strange reason, I volunteered to be the cookie chair for my kiddo's Girl Scout ...

Yes.