I know I've been ...

... a complete slug and a bit of a druggie all last week. But I've been painkiller-free for several days, which makes me at least 35 steps above Amy Winehouse.

I did manage to go to lunch and to the mall on Saturday, even though I only made it to two stores before I got all hot and sweaty and tired and had to leave, but I got my two errands run and I got to see something other than the inside of this house, which was nice.

Made it through!

Just laid up in the bed watching The Price Is Right and hurting in mah belleh. Only slightly high on pain pills. Bummer.

Just like Lindsay!

So, I've got nuthin' left in me. Nothing. I'm all detoxed. So essentially, I'm like Lindsay Lohan. Which means if I turn gay after the surgery, I can blame it on the detox.

Also, white wine and vodka should totally be on my approved list of clear liquids.

It's no "Cheaters"...

... but G4 has a Labor Day "COPS" marathon on.

CallieLOL.

moar funny pictures

My child...

Is adorable. I love this outfit and wish it came in my size, too.

OK, here it comes!

So I've started mah liquid diet in preparation for tomorrow's surgeries. I have two delicious bottles of magnesium citrate chilling in the fridge. Counting down the hours until I get all this over with, and wtf is up with Maury Povich today. I planned to lay on my duff all day watching daytime television and I flip on "Maury" to see JackfuckingHanna with some cute animals. Shit. I want to find out who my baby daddy is. If I wanted warm fuzzies, I'd turn on the Disney Channel. What a waste of an hour, Maury.